Top Ten Messages Left On Paul Simon’s Answering Machine

10. “Hey, it’s Art. Wanna do an album?”

9. “Hello, Grammy winner, this is Metro Grammy Polishers calling with a great introductory offer”

8. “Art again. Wanna do a tour?”

7. “Hey, check out eBay. Art’s selling his lifetime achievement award”

6. “Fred Durst here — I think we’re all in agreeance that you were great”

5. “I saw you on CBS with Garfunkel. Was that a repeat?”

4. “Hey, it’s your old friend Darkness. Dude, give me a call”

3. “Hey, buddy, it’s Art. I think your answering machine is broken”

2. “This is announcer Alan Kalter — sorry for introducting you as Phil Simon”

1. “Hi, thought of a fifty-first way to leave your lover — run over him with a Mercedes”

I’m a big Dave Letterman fan. I don’t care about the ratings. Plain and simple, I just think he’s funnier than Leno. Visit The Late Show with David Letterman to get more wacky Top Ten lists!